Is it me or has Betty Wright been doing the damn thing these last few years?
 

• Erykah Badu featuring Betty Wright - "A.D. 2000" on Mama's Gun.
• Getting Sara together on Making the Band 2 on MTV.
• Collabo on Joss Stone's collection of Soul Sessions.
• Nina Sky featuring Betty Wright - "You Deserve."
• Angie Stone featuring Betty Wright - "That Kind of Love" on Stone Love.

No Ifs, Ands or Butts...

I quit smoking cigarettes yesterday! Yep, it was my official quit day. (My behavior modification program requires that I make announcements to hold myself accountable!?)

I don't even know why it has taken me so long. Actually, I do. As a Public Health professional, I am quite familiar with social and behavioral science theories. I've been in the Contemplative stage of the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change for a few months now. Voila!!

In addition, the Spirit spoke to me with the use of...what my Momma would call...a "confirmation."

A few weeks ago, I was watching Sex and the City, Season 3, Episode # 35 "No Ifs, Ands, or Butts" in which Aidan tells Carrie that he can't date a smoker. She attempts to quit cold turkey and runs out of their dinner date fiending like a crackwhore for a few puffs of an emergency cigarette in which she subsequently dropped in the sewer crate on the street corner. After getting caught smoking, she starts the patch.

And on Monday, I went to see OhSix in the middle of the night. On the drive over, I lit up my Salem Ultralight and inhaled. I parked my ride, popped in a cherry Jolly Rancher and knocked on the door. His room was midnight black and he was already in the bed, so I climbed in.

OhSix: Whatchu been smoking?
me: (shit) Nothing.
OhSix: You sure?
me: It's just a cigarette.
OhSix: I ain't know you smoked!?
me: I don't...really...not that much.
(silence...I smell my hands and cup my breath...)
OhSix: Whatchu doing...smelling yourself?
me: No.

So here I am now...Day 2. I bought the patch, but I have been able to control the cravings without them. I don't know if I will even start them or not. I wasn't a big smoker in the first place...less than or equal to 5 a day. Therefore, I may be able to manage cold turkey.

Pros/Cons:
Pro: I have an increased appetite. I can now better focus on that weight gain goal and step up on Kanye's Workout Plan.
Con: Carrie evenually relapsed.

DAMN!

I was reading a discussion forum on the Cosby debacle and ran across this line from what I assumed is a white guy:

"I can see why the poor black youth are so disenfranchised....even their own people do not believe they are worth anything." - the-breaks forum

Deafening silence

After watching Saddam Hussein call President Bush the "real criminal" on CNN yesterday, I happened to afford the opportunity to watch the entire documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 while at the barbershop today. (Bootlegging at it's best...)

I'm speechless.

And just when I thought I could utter a simple monosyllabic word, Bill Cosby silenced me again by his commentary at the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition & Citizenship Education Fund's Annual Conference.

I think I've swallowed my tongue.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I been gone for a minute. Now I'm back with the jump off. Well...not really.

June of 2004 was an interesting epiphanic month. A funeral. Psuedo family reunion. Psuedo class reunion. PRIDE. Mega-Fest. Dating.

Funeral
One of my cousins lost a long battle with cancer. The family knew death was near, but its sudden arrival was still unsettling. The religious cynic in me cringed at the thought of a typical Southern funeral. And it was.

"Weeping may endureth for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
"Troubles don't last always."
"He picked me up, turned me around, placed my feet on solid ground."
"One glad morning, when this life is over, I'll fly away."
"You may not have tomorrow, so choose salvation today."

It was cliche after cliche with the congregation in full call and response.

Moms: (knowing my cynicism) That was a nice homegoing service. Did you get the message?
Me: Oh I got it alright.
Moms: Well what did you think?
Me: Honestly?
Moms: Hmph...
Me: I thought it was inappropriate. I couldn't believe there was actually an alter call at the funeral. Thirty-something people walked up and surrounded the coffin while the minister solicited church members. What happened to honoring the life of the deceased?
Moms: Sometimes death can lead people to Him.

RIP Phyllis.

Psuedo Family Reunion
And of course, the funeral afterparty gets real krunk. The conversation I regret:

Teenage male cousin: Damn, I just founnd out that that was our cousin over there. (He points at a female. We both stare in her direction making eye contact as my step mother overhears.)
Me: Everybody here is a cousin.
Step Mom: Well, you know in Louisiana that's legal! (sarcasm)
Teenage male cousin: Word?
(We all laugh hysterically)
Teenage female cousin: (slyly walks over) Ya'll talking bout me?
Teenage male cousin: Yeah! Talking bout how if you weren't my cousin I would seriously be trying to holla at you!
(Everyone laughs hysterically again)
Me: (rolling my eyes at young male hypermasculinity)
Teenage female cousin: (looks at teenage male cousin) You too... (walks away)

Scare me!

Psuedo Class Reunion
I then ran into the girl I went to Junior prom with (no kin) in the parking lot. She had a lot of questions. I don't know if it was sincere interest or whether she was validating something she had heard. It wasn't a problem though. I could careless.

Yes, I finished undergrad and grad school.
Yes, I live in Atlanta now.
This is where I work.
This is what I do.
No, I'm not married.
No, I'm not dating anyone seriously.
No, I haven't talked to anyone from highschool.
Here's my number.

And as soon as 48 hours could pass, I received a phone call from another classmate who is living in Atlanta. From this reunion, the gossip poured, thick and coating like evaporated milk. Thank God I escaped the rural South.

Mega-Fest
Back in Atlanta...chance would have it that I didn't host any family for the corporate sponsored revival, better known as Mega-Fest. I guess they knew better. Ironically, one of my bestfriends, DaScroller, came with some of his family from New Orleans to attend. "Why?", I asked. "Ya'll are Catholic!"

Moms: (calling my cell) I'm back home from the Mega-Fest. Sorry I didn't get to see you.
Me: I was wondering if you even came or not.
Moms: Yeah, you know I came down with some people and...blah...blah...blah. Where you at?
Me: The park.
Moms: You down there for what I saw that commercial for?
Me: What commercial?
Moms: Something I saw on TV...
Me: I'm here for PRIDE.
Moms: Yeah, that's it. They said right after our convention...in coming another kind...umm hmmmm...
Me: (laughing) I didn't know they had commercials...
Moms: It was on the news. Be careful out there.

PRIDE and Dating
I ran into a lot of people I hadn't seen in ages in the park for Atlanta Gay PRIDE. But I didn't meet anyone new. Not that I believed I needed to anyway, per se. I have always been the serial monagamist. Recently that has changed. But I haven't ventured all the way into casual sex either. I find it hard to seriously get to know more than one person at a time in an intimate and romantic way. But I get so tired of putting my eggs in one basket and getting the inevitable.

So now I am holding meetings with OhSix and DaBoriqua. Just two at a time...no mas. They both are smart, attractive, ambitious, have their own car/apartment, etc. What sets them apart? It's too early to tell. I can't call it. To make a comparison, I would have to be shallow and base it on the physical connections.

OhSix - passive aggressive, versatile, at night and in the morning, shower together

DaBoriqua - aggressively submissive, bottom, Latin heat and passion, kisses me goodbye

This is gonna be one ol' episode of ElimiDate!