Friday, February 27, 2004

I need to see a man about a horse ~ Phrase Finder

I have this intriguing curiosity with what I call conference aphrodisia as noted by my attendance at another meeting back in September. It simply amazes me how people can allow perceived anonymity or the controlled environment of the host hotel and meeting sessions to drive sexual prowess. Nevertheless, more time and work was required of the participants at this recent meeting so there was less "promiscuity" as far as I could tell. *Note: High prevalence of homosexuals in my field.

Day I
This dreadfully loc'ed honeycombed Adonis sat in a panel before me. As he gazed into the audience, I couldn't help but stare until our eyes met. Then an uncomfortable disconnect appeared out of nowhere as we realized that our attention should be paid to the speaker, not on one another. But he saw me. I saw him. Mission accomplished.

Day II
me: (sitting at the bar smoking a cigarette like Bernadine)
middle aged black male: (walks by and grabs my shoulder while leaning into my left ear in passing) It's gonna be hard for me to read down here now that you've arrived...
me: (startled) Oh whatever... (laughter)

Passed Adonis in the hall. We exchanged niceties. I complement him on his sense of humor from an earlier presentation. No indepth conversation. We continued to speak in passing for the remainder of the week.

Day V
me: (answering hotel phone) Hello?
caller: Hey! I remembered your name from your badge and got your room number from the front desk. You sat next to me in the computer lab. Remember?
me: Yeah. How are you?
caller: I've seen you around this week and I've been wanting to say hello but you seem a little standoffish. When you smiled and chit chatted in the computer lab today I was like, "Wow, he's friendly."
me: (laughter)

I agreed to meet this new acquaintance (not Adonis) in the bar and we continued the stimulating conversation.

Day VI
Last day. I called nessa/e.badu for an update and casually mentioned the state of conference aphrodisia.

nessa: Adonis?...tall, light-skinned, dreads, from that city? Work for the Agency?
me: (reluctant) yeah?!
nessa: That's Lamentation's ol' piece.
me: You lying!
nessa: He's married now.
me: To who?
nessa: Some boy that work for another Agency. Got a house together and everything...
me: You lying!
nessa: Argghhhh!! I need to see a man about a horse!! Hold on...lemme call Lamentation on 3-way...

I continued to gag into the night. How easily angels fall from Heaven...

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