Tuesday, January 13, 2004

All the Wiser...

I got all four of my Wisdom Teeth out on Friday. Everyone that I informed prior to surgery belittled the experience. Oh, you'll be alright. It'll heal in about 4-5 days. It's not that bad! F*ck that!! It has been a rough 5 days!!

I should have known when I floated out of the operating chair towards Ol' Piece's arms in a spectacular state of euphoria that there was an opposing physical state lurking right behind happiness. Out of anticipation and fear, we rushed to CVS to get my Hydrocodone prescription filled. By the time I had gotten a smoothie, my face was disfigured and the numbness was disapating. All I know is that it took 2 Advils and 3 Hydrocodone to get me to some form of sanity that night and each day has been a challenge ever since.

I am also surprised that Ol' Piece actually opted to "take care" of me during the recuperation. It gave us an opportunity to REALLY get to know one another. I have self-proclaimed myself as NOT being a "phone-person," (I hate talking on the phone with people I don't know very well. It's awkward.) so I was relieved at the opportunity of us being in one another's presence...talking. In hindsight, it was sort of like a retreat. Just the two of us. Alone. Not going out for entertainment. Creating our own. I think the most important aspect was that none of the time spent together included Sex. That would have ruined the dynamics. It was great, minus the discomfort of the surgery. I would actually recommend and probably try this tactic again in the future. I think I got a lot of issues resolved and questions answered. (Or did I!?)

WAIT...lemme preface this...

I admit that I have my OWN issues with power and control in relationships. And those issues extend into different arenas within the relationship, e.g. sex. Being the bag lady that I hate to be, I have always in the past struggled to get to a state of compromise with the men that I am attracted to over all of this. I am attracted to men who are SO similar to myself that I have a hard time diciphering who is going to get to be me. And of my friends, I seem to be the only one who goes through this issue. For them it tends to be cut and dry...I play this role...they play that role when it comes to the men that they date. But due to my versatility and attraction to such, there is always this "game" being played initially in order to figure one another out. Maybe it's just me playing the game!? I don't know!? Sometimes I feel really crazy when I try to rationalize dysfunctionality.

Back to the story...

Ol' Piece may or may not be a "top." I didn't ask. It would have been rude and irrelevant. However, we had an interesting conversation about the value of sex as an Idea and the value of sex as an Act.

Sex as an Idea:
Ol' Piece - the idea of sex is so important that after four failed relationships due to the partners' infidelity and then giving himself to Hedonism through his recent Summer Sex-capade, he has decided to abstain from sex until he is in a relationship.

Me - the idea of sex is so important that I don't put much emphasis or value in it. To do that would diminish it's beauty. If I decide to abstain (and sometimes I do) that is okay. If I decide to put myself out there and enjoy a taste (and indeed I do) that is okay as well.

Sex as an Act:
Ol' Piece - the act of sex is not that important. It is simple. You just do it. "I don't like too much foreplay."

Me - the act of sex is very important. It is another form of communication. How we do it communicates way more than any word could possibly do. Each embrace, each thrust, every moan, and every quiver.

Interesting...to say the least. I really enjoy getting to know him. We're always agreeing to disagree. But that's okay.

Movies we watched:

Gosford Park
Love Liza
Jeepers Creepers 2
Iron Ladies
Igby Goes Down

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